FMA Peeps Do Random Things
by FullMetalCanine
Summary: Read the title. And the rest of my stories. And FullMetalFeline's stories. And IceclawLPS's stories. And- *You lose interest in the summary and begin reading...*
1. Ed Does Random Things

Chapter 1: Ed Does Random Things

Ed: (Whispers to arm) I know, you're a great arm..

Ed: (Turns to other arm) But I just like my automail arm more...

Ed: (To first arm) I mean, you're a great arm..

Ed: But you just can't hold a candle to automail...

(Al Walks in)

Al: Brother?

Ed: (Without looking up) Uh-huh?

Al: (To Winry) He's talking to his automail...again...

Winry: You mean you don't do that?

Al: ...


	2. Winry Does Random Things

Chapter 2: Winry Does Random Things

Winry: (Humming) Automail...dum de dum...automail..

Ed: Hey, um, Winry?

Winry: (Cheerfully) Yeah?

Ed: (Nervously) I- I broke my automail!

Winry: WHAT.

Ed: (Pales) I- it wasn't my fault! S- scar! He-

Winry:WHAT?

Ed: (Kneels) Please! Spare me! PLEASE?

Winry: WHAT?!

Ed: (Begins praying) Our Father, Who art in the Gate..

Winry: (Chases him) EVERY TIME! CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP IT INTACT! IS THAT REALLY SO HARD?!

Ed: (Between breaths) Hey! *Huff* I have *Puff* a *Wheeze* rough job! (Collapses)

Winry: (Holds up wrench threateningly) You're supposed to say, 'Sorry, Winry'

Ed: (Panting) S- sorry Winry..

Winry: That's better. Now, to submit you to hours of painful automail fixing.

Ed: What!?


	3. Al Does Random Things

Al: Hey, bro-

Ed: No.

Al: But-

Ed: No.

Al: I have-

Ed: No.

Al: (Holds up unconscious Vengeance) I wonder why nobody wanted to see this?

(Tosses her out the door)

Al: Oh, well.

Vengeance: Truth, if I ever see that kid again I'm gonna scare him so bad his grandchildren'll have nightmares...

Al: Ooh! A kitten!

Al: (Picks up kitten) Brother?

Ed: Yes?

Al: I found a kitten!

Ed: (sighs) Another one?

Al: Yup.

Ed: Why can't you find something useful?

Al: Dunno. Guess I just love cats.


	4. Gluttony Does Random Things

Gluttony: Yum!

Narrator: Gluttony was always hungry. He particularly liked eating humans.

Narrator: But the dumb humans were too fast. Or smart. Or-

Narrator:He shook the thought out of his mind. Lust would help him.

Narrator:Lust loved killing things! So he'd get her to kill something! For him!

Narrator: No pesky sacrifices, just human meat. And lots of it.

Gluttony: Lust?Do you wanna kill a human? Or-

(Envy slaps him across the face)

Envy:Not that crap again!

(Lust shakes her head)

Gluttony: (sadly) Ok, by-

Narrator:Gluttony is hit in the head by a tomato. Unfortunately for Envy, the tomato isn't rotten, and bounces to the ground, where Gluttony promptly eats it.

Envy: Somebody shut that asshole up!

Lust: I'll do it.

(Lust walks offscreen, and walks back, a corpse impaled on her fingers)

Lust: Here you go, Gluttony.

Gluttony: Hooray!

(Gluttony begins eating the corpse)

The End


	5. Envy Does Random Things

(Envy is standing in front of a mirror, Greed next to him)

Greed: So...you sure you're a man?

Envy: Ugh! Yes!

Greed: Because men don't wear skirts.

Envy: Ever been to Scotland?

Greed: Where?

Envy: (Hastily trying to repair the fourth wall) Nothing! Nothing at all! Just...Nowhere! Okay?

Greed: ?

Envy: Yeah, but this outfit is so comfy!

Greed: Maybe I could understand the belly shirt...but a skirt just isn't manly!

Envy: Screw manliness! I want to be comfortable, not FREAKING MANLY!

Greed: (Gasps) No!

Envy: Besides, if I want to be manly, I can shapeshift into that Armstrong guy.

Envy: (Turns into Armstrong)This way of making sparkles manly has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!

Greed: ... Got a point there.

Envy: (Changes back to Envy) Exactly.

Greed: ...

Envy: ...

Greed: You still look like a girl.

Envy: Damnit, Greed!


	6. Mustang Does Random Things

(Mustang sits at his desk, bored out of his mind.)

Mustang: Ugh. So bored.

Hawkeye: Sir, you have paper work to do.

Mustang: (Grumbles) Fine. Get out of my office.

(Hawkeye leaves)

Mustang: I hate paperwork.

Mustang: (Looks at gloves, then to paper) Hmmmm...

(He raises his hand, then snaps.)

Mustang: YES! FEEL THE PAPERWORK BURN!

(Hawkeye opens the door)

Hawkeye: Sir? What was all that yelli-(Sees the burned paper)

Hawkeye: What the-?

Mustang: Umm...

Mustang: ...It isn't what it looks like?


End file.
